


if you’re listening to my heart

by taeyongsan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23900134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeyongsan/pseuds/taeyongsan
Summary: Taeyong can count the times he’s heard his soulmate’s voice on two hands. He has no fingers to count the times that may come but that no longer matters now that they have the rest of their lives together.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 5
Kudos: 120





	if you’re listening to my heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [forevermyotp423](https://archiveofourown.org/users/forevermyotp423/gifts).



> A belated birthday gift to _my_ soulmate, Rin-chan.
> 
> Happy, happy belated birthday from me!
> 
> I told you I had a gift! I hope you enjoy reading this little thing I made for you. Love ya!

Taeyong heard the voice when he was seven years old. It came to him in passing. He almost missed it. It came when he was in his classroom, twenty-four other children talking and laughing before the teacher came in around him, yet he heard it.

It was a soft voice. He didn’t make out what was said. It was mumbled. Drowned out by the voices of his classmates, Taeyong had heard it but he hadn’t _heard_ it.

He spent the rest of the day trying to remember. Nothing specific stood out. The voice was soft and quiet. That’s all he could remember.

“Mama, I heard my soulmate,” he told his mother when he arrived home and was sitting at the table, eating.

She stopped cleaning and looked at him. “You did? Today?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what they said.”

When he frowned, his mother set aside the kitchen towel in her hand and took the chair beside him, scooting closer to him. She pulled his head to her chest, letting him rest there, fingers combing through his hair. “Sometimes you won’t know what they say but that’s all right,” she said, kissing the top of his head. “It may be a long time before you meet them. Until then, hang on to this.”

Taeyong nodded, letting his mother hug him for a few more moments before squirming. She let him go and he sat back in his chair. “I will hear them every day?”

“Not every day,” she answered. She stood and went back to the stove. “Only sometimes in real life. Like someone passing you by, having a conversation with someone else. It will be clearer in your dreams.”

“I understand,” Taeyong said. He eyed the snack his mother set out for him. “I think I’m done. I’m going to play. Is that okay?”

“Okay,” his mother said. “Not too late!”

Taeyong barely called back his reply, already by the door, tugging his shoes on before he rushed outside to find his neighborhood friends. 

* * *

In Taeyong’s dreams, the voice he heard was gentle but deep. It was a boy’s voice. He knew that much. It made him feel weird but he kept it to himself. He wasn’t sure what his mother or father would say about it.

His mother always asked how his soulmate was, referring to them as _she_ and Taeyong answered, avoiding the use of any pronouns. It was supposed to be a girl, right? Was it a mistake?

But it couldn’t have been a mistake. Because then, there were too many mistakes similar to his.

“I think my soulmate is a girl.”

“A girl?” Taeyong asked. “But you’re a girl.”

Beside him, Seulgi smiled. She knocked her knees against Taeyong’s. “I know,” she said. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Feels funny knowing that.”

“Yeah, it must,” Taeyong replied. He avoided looking at Seulgi. She was the fourth person who told him that their soulmate sounded like they shared the same gender. “Do you think it’s a mistake?”

“I don’t think there’s a mistake when it comes to soulmates,” Seulgi said. “If we’re meant to be, then there’s little I can do about it.”

“I guess…”

Seulgi nudged him. “And you? You’re thirteen now, right? You’ve heard your soulmate a few times by now. Are they interesting?”

Taeyong huffed. There wasn’t much to say. Even though Taeyong had heard him, it wasn’t as much as he expected. He could count the times he heard him on one hand. The voice had gotten stronger. Instead of being quiet and timid, he was a bit loud and more confident. But besides that, Taeyong didn’t understand what they said!

“I think they live in another country,” he finally said. “I don’t understand a word they say.”

“Like English?”

“It’s not English but I don’t know…”

“That sucks,” Seulgi answered. “Mine has spoken in _three_ languages. It’s better when she speaks Korean. I suck at English and I don’t even know the other language she speaks!”

* * *

Taeyong figured it out a few days later. 

His sister was watching a movie in the living room as he did his homework at the coffee table. She was completely entranced, carefully reading the subtitles at the bottom of the screen. Taeyong paid attention half-heartedly, only reading and not listening to it. He didn’t understand it.

And then…

_As expected!_

Taeyong looked up at the television, reading the subtitles. _As expected!_ another character repeated, pumping their fist in the air. He knew the word. He recognized the word.

He’d heard it last month in a dream, one of the few words he was able to hold onto and remember.

He turned to his sister. “Hey! What language is this?”

She glared at him. “It’s Japanese,” she answered. She reached out to flick him on the back of the head. “And don’t yell at me.”

“Japanese,” Taeyong repeated.

He’d watched Japanese movies and animations in passing but never paid much attention to what was being said. He focused on reading the subtitles over listening. 

Of course.

* * *

“What is your mom making you take?”

Taeyong clicked his tongue. “Japanese,” he answered. He stared at the ground, scuffing his shoes against the pavement. “My soulmate is Japanese, I think, so she’s making me take it.”

He received some laughs from his friends and a few pats on the back. A few of them left to go to their classes or their seats. Only Jonghyun remained at his side. He eyed Taeyong for a moment.

“Well, hey,” Jonghyun finally said, throwing his arm around his shoulder, “At least you’ll be able to understand her when the time comes! You like that stuff also, don’t you? Japanese things?”

Taeyong almost pushed Jonghyun back at the mention of _her_. He still hadn’t told anyone. In the eight years he had known of his soulmate, Taeyong hadn’t told a soul how the voice sounded. He knew it wasn’t wrong but after accepting it for so long, he felt it was too late to admit to it.

Instead of pushing Jonghyun away, he pulled him down into a headlock, messing his hair up. “Shut up!” he said. “You act like you weren’t the one that introduced me to half of it!”

He let Jonghyun go and tried to will away the warmth he felt spread across his face. It was true that Taeyong’s interest in Japanese things had increased but he needed to learn! He didn’t know when he would meet his soulmate and he didn’t want to mess up because he didn’t know what to say or what to do.

“You think you’ll meet her on a vacation or something?” Jonghyun asked, fixing his hair and taking his seat in front of Taeyong. He turned to look back at Taeyong, who also sat down. “If she’s Japanese, you probably won’t meet her here.”

“Maybe,” Taeyong said. He needed to tell Jonghyun at least. He would understand, right? If anyone could relate to him, it would be Jonghyun. “I’m not sure. But hey… I think that―”

The teacher walked in and called for silence. Jonghyun turned around with an apologetic smile. The confession of Taeyong’s lips died.

* * *

His sister came in with a ring on her finger.

“He did it last night!” she exclaimed, showing her hand to their mother. “He made such a big deal of it!”

Behind her, her fiance was blushing. “Ah, well, I wouldn’t say…”

“It’s okay,” Taeyong said, catching his attention. “They won’t listen to you anyway.”

“What do you think of all this, Taeyong?” he asked.

Taeyong’s sister had found her soulmate in high school. Taeyong had barely started middle school when she found him. He was nice and since he had no younger siblings, he enjoyed acting like a big brother. Taeyong appreciated that. Now that he was sixteen and knew more about everything around him, Taeyong found that no one else would fit into their family the way he did.

“I think it’s fine. Congratulations,” was all Taeyong said before leaving them to celebrate.

He had to call Jonghyun. He picked up his phone and dialed the number. Of course, Jonghyun didn’t answer. It always took a few times to get him to pick up, especially after school like this.

Instead of trying again, he called Seulgi.

She picked up immediately. “Taeyong?”

“My soulmate is a guy,” Taeyong said. He huffed. That wasn’t how he wanted to say it to her. “I’m sorry. Hi. My soulmate is a guy.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he’s a guy.”

“Well, that’s fine,” she said. She didn’t sound all that surprised or upset. It was easy to tell when Seulgi was feeling something other than happy or calm. But she sounded very calm right now. “You told Jonghyun?”

“He didn’t answer.” Taeyong kicked over the stack of manhwas by the foot of his bed. He stared at the pile. “Why aren’t you surprised?”

“I am, a little, but… does it matter? Does it matter who they are? Even if people are against it, as long as you’re ready to face it, none of that should matter.”

Had he not been ready this entire time?

Taeyong thanked Seulgi and hung up, leaving her to study. He picked up the manhwas and moved to his desk. He didn’t pull out his books or notes. Instead, he placed the pads of his fingers against his temple and closed his eyes.

“If you hear anything from me,” Taeyong said, his voice quieter than usual, “Please let it be this.”

He took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure if his soulmate would understand but it was worth it. He would try again once he asked his tutor how to say the words in Japanese.

“I think I’m ready to meet you.”

* * *

_I want to meet you._

Taeyong was able to translate the phrase with little difficulty. After writing down what he heard by ear and showing it to the Japanese tutor, she confirmed that it said what he thought. He wondered if his soulmate had responded to his words. It was hard for such a thing to happen.

One heard their soulmate at random times. Nothing important was exchanged. Maybe a few words here and there, but nothing ever connected to form anything.

Still, Taeyong wondered if it was possible.

_I want to meet you._

He laughed.

“I want to meet you,” he said to himself.

* * *

Taeyong’s soulmate was… interesting.

Without seeing them, their words were all he had to learn about them.

His soulmate was a happy person. _Today is a good day so let’s make the best of it!_

He was supportive. _As expected, Yacchan! You were awesome up there!_

He enjoyed football. _What a goal! Did you see that, Haru-chan? Wah, Japan is going to win this!_

Perhaps he played football, too. _The game was tough but as Captain says: keep pushing! It doesn’t end until it ends, you know, Wakkun?_

But above all else, despite not knowing Taeyong, he seemed to love him dearly. _Your voice is very nice. I enjoy hearing it in my dreams. Sometimes I hear it in real life and when I turn, thinking I’ve found you, you’re gone. How long will you keep me waiting? I want to love you now._

Taeyong smiled as he wrote what he heard in his dream down. He heard his mother call him for dinner.

“Wait for me a little longer,” Taeyong whispered before he left his room, leaving behind his notebook.

* * *

“I don’t know,” Jonghyun said. He kicked a small rock down the sidewalk. “Minhyun told me it was fine but I still feel shitty about it.”

“Don’t fret,” Taeyong said. He sighed. “You’ll figure out. You always do.”

“What about you?” Jonghyun nudged him in the side. “You’ve decided what you’re going to do?”

“I think I’m moving,” Taeyong confessed. It had been something in the back of his mind for many years. “If I don’t go to Japan now, I never will find him.”

“I’ll miss you if you go, you know.”

Taeyong laughed. “What? _Now_ you’re getting emotional with me?”

Jonghyun shoved him. “Shut up! You owe me a coffee. Buy it for me now.”

* * *

“I’m moving to Japan,” Taeyong said. His room was empty but he knew the words would be heard somewhere. Or so he hoped they would be. “I want to meet you now.”

He was eighteen now. Everyone around him had found their soulmate and he hadn’t. He didn’t want to wait any longer. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t.

His parents had been wary of it but they seemed to accept the fact that Taeyong wasn’t changing his mind. He’d saved up for this. It wasn’t like he was making them pay for him. He was going to do everything himself.

The ticket he bought was for a flight tomorrow. His suitcases were packed and once he got to Japan, he would stay with one of his mother’s friends until he could get everything in order. It was rushed and hectic but Taeyong couldn’t wait anymore.

He went to bed, hoping that somewhere in Japan, his soulmate would hear his words.

But as soon as he fell asleep, Taeyong heard the words.

_If you’re listening, don’t leave. I’m here._

Taeyong woke up, startled. He placed a hand over his chest.

“Where?” he murmured to himself, looking around his dark room.

* * *

Some people were lucky. They got dramatic moments with their soulmate. Most times, meeting a soulmate was bland. They were boring stories to hear. Taeyong’s sister met her soulmate as she left the restroom at school. Jonghyun found his soulmate walking a dog in the park down the street. Seulgi found hers in her English class.

But while boring, no one told Taeyong how it felt.

“Oh, I think it’s over here?”

Taeyong hummed, watching his sister and her husband look around.

“No, I don’t think so. Isn’t that it?”

“Taeyong? Do you see it?”

“I don’t.” Taeyong looked around, scanning the storefronts. His sister must’ve gotten confused. The store they were looking for wasn’t here. His eyes stopped on a young man, sitting on a bench. He looked back at his sister. “I think you got confused. It’s not here, sis.”

As they began to make their way back, Taeyong peered over his shoulder, looking at the young man. There was something familiar about him but Taeyong didn’t know what. Perhaps he had a class with him in high school? 

But Taeyong would remember someone like that. He pushed it aside, following behind his sister and brother-in-law.

“ _Mama?_ ”

Taeyong froze. That voice. Taeyong _knew_ that voice. He turned around, trying to find the person who said it. A man… a man… a young man…

“ _Yeah, I think I’m lost. Where are you and Haru-chan?_ ”

“Hey,” Taeyong called out, hoping that whoever was speaking heard him, recognized him. His heart began to pound hard in his chest and his hands began to shake. A bit louder this time, he called out again, “Hey!”

“ _Wait, Mama. I heard him! Wait!_ ”

The voice was louder, closer. He’d been speaking Japanese.

“Where are you?” He spoke Korean now. Their accent made the words sound a bit funny but it was his soulmate speaking without a doubt. He spoke _Korean_!

Taeyong felt his face grow warm. “ _Where are you?_ ” he asked back in Japanese.

He turned and his eyes stopped on the face of the stranger from before. His eyes were wide, wider than they had been a moment ago when Taeyong looked at him. And his mouth was agape. He seemed to connect everything before Taeyong could.

“You,” he said.

“ _You_ ,” Taeyong said back.

His soulmate crossed the distance between them first. He wrapped Taeyong in a tight embrace. Taeyong felt his warm breath fan against the shell of his ear. “I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispered and it sent chills down Taeyong’s back.

Taeyong wrapped his arms around the young man. “I’m sorry,” he said. He hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry.”

He pulled back from Taeyong. “My name is Yuta.”

“Yuta,” Taeyong repeated. Oh God, he loved it. “Yuta, Yuta, Yuta, Yu―”

Taeyong was stopped by Yuta kissing him. It was nothing Taeyong expected but everything he didn’t know he needed. It was warm and gentle and so, so full of love. Love that Taeyong had felt grow as he grew up, the constant presence that motivated him taking the shape of the man he held in his arms now. Taeyong felt his heart thump hard in his chest and the hairs on his arms rose, completely electrified. He had never felt something so strong, so powerful, so _natural_. He had waited so long for Yuta.

He felt Yuta smile against his lips, a breathy laugh escaping him.

“And you are?”

“Taeyong.”

Yuta smiled. “Taeyong.”

His name never sounded so right.

* * *

Yuta was everything. He was confident and boisterous. He was smart in so many ways. His passion was captivating and his energy contagious. The way he spoke and the way he acted was always so big, something about him demanding attention and respect while remaining calm and kind.

Years ago, when Taeyong had heard Yuta’s voice for the first time, he never would have guessed that Yuta would turn out to be such a bright person.

“I was shy before,” Yuta confessed. “And then I heard your voice for the first time.”

“What was the first thing I said that you heard?”

Yuta hummed. “I didn’t know it at the time because I was seven but after I started learning Korean, I could understand.” He looked at Taeyong. “You said, ‘I hope you are happy with who you are’.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t think it was addressed to me. Even if it was, I wouldn’t have known. But just hearing your voice, I wanted to make sure that you could hear me wherever you were because I heard you so loud and clear.”

Taeyong laughed. “I heard you later on. You were way too loud.”

“But my voice reached you, right? So it worked?”

Instead of answering, Taeyong kissed Yuta. For the rest of their lives, they would be able to speak like this, with kisses, touches, hugs, and looks, their thoughts and feelings expressed from the deepest parts of their hearts.

Taeyong hoped Yuta could hear him loud and clear.

But just in case he didn’t…

“I love you,” he said.


End file.
